Thursday, June 23, 2016

"Life Isn't Fair"

        For anyone who's been following my blog you may have picked up on the fact that I'm a people watcher. 1) I'm not a stalker. 2) No I'm not an introvert either. Maybe it's the writer in me, I don't know, but there's something intriguing about the way people act. How they talk. How they walk. Nervous habits. Ticks. Their laughs. Their tattoos. Their smiles. Their blush after they've made eye contact with the person they've been drooling over for 10 minutes (yes trust me this happens a lot).

       If there's one thing I've learned from observing people and living my own life it's that life comes with rules and that the saying "life isn't fair" is false. I mean in a way it's true but unless your winning at that particular moment you may be thinking that "life isn't fair." I'm not God, I don't know how life is really supposed to work. I do know however that there is a set of rules for life. They make sense but they're harder to understand because they're rules that people search for but refuse to hear.

      People like to come up with virtuous power. Due to this human part of our human nature we have an inbred sense of "right and wrong," and we expect everyone around us to just agree with our own set of rules. The cause is every adult in our life is enforcing these rules; and every adult in their lives before them did the same. One family's idea of smoking is completely different from the next. 
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    Reality doesn't really form to everyone's ideals. A very famous, written-about subject is one person loves another but they don't like them back. Take a good look at the person who likes the other individual but didn't like them back. They are two completely different people. A person with years upon years (and depending on their age upon years) of experience being someone else other then the person who likes them. Someone who interacts with many other people every year. To me this is what makes finding love so great because it is two completely different individuals coming together and living with one another. The disappointing part is not just anyone will fall madly in love with you because you like them and because you happen to exist. I guess what I'm trying to get through to you is that even though others behavior can make you feel kinda rotten sometimes it might not necessarily be them judging you but more along the lines of them having their own life that's completely different from yours. Rule number one, self interest doesn't go along with fairness.

    Rule number two, our thoughts are what we judge ourselves upon but others judge us on our abilities and actions. This rule relates to the rule above, we think about ourselves. It's not necessarily bad, it's just our nature. For example you could tell yourself your a good person, maybe you are a good person, but sometimes others don't view us this way and these thoughts only help us sleep at night. 

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    See it isn't our intentions that count it's our actions. Or more so the question, "What can you do for the world?" Can you make a room full of people laugh? Or cry? Can you find the cure for cancer? How are your football skills?

     We as a whole society seem to think that when you do something great instantly you become famous or should at least be recognized for it; but in reality it isn't about what you've done it's about the number of people who's seen/heard of/used it before and furthermore was impacted in any way. For example you could be the author of the best book ever and have only one person read it. That's hard to compete against the amount of people who read the Harry Potter series. Perform a surgery you're a doctor, find the cure for cancer and you're a hero. 

     This is a hard thing to stomach and it has a lot to do with the reason why people are so down now-a days. The way I see it though is when you do stomach the fact that you may never be on the big screen one day, or filthy rich, or on the top of the charts on iTunes; you'll be happier. Again that's hard to take in for some but it all comes down to you accepting you and the life around you. This doesn't mean you shouldn't have dreams and goals necessarily but don't always look toward the future, love your life now. Stop judging yourself by the way you look in a picture and appreciate the moment it captured. Does it really matter how many re-tweets you get?  Live simply and you'll be happy. Be happy with your life and appreciate what you have and life will be simpler. 

     Rule number three is pretty simple; life is a competition. The job you have? Someone out there is trying to figure out a way to replace you with a new piece of technology. That trophy you're going for? So is everyone else on the team. We are all in competition with each other. 

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     This rule is yet again hard to stomach because ever since we were little we were told that "we are our own people" and "you are only in competition with yourself." If you think about it most accomplishments are in relation to other people. You ran more miles, got more likes on Instagram, got the job. Congrats. This being said it's simply so much easier to tell your students the opposite of the truth. 
"Just do your best."

    Think about it if competition didn't matter we'd tell struggling families to just give up. No one would strive for anything; and we are fortunate enough to live in a world where we don't have to kill each other to stay alive. Yes we struggle, everything with life struggles, but with the modern world there are multiple opportunities and while not everyone competes directly it's enough for most to get by. I mean if you deny that competition exist you're lying to yourself, you'll lose if you deny competition. 

      In conclusion most of us get so distracted on our ideals of how life should work that we become blind to the way life does work. By accepting these rules life will get easier and you'll gain a better understanding of how the world works and furthermore your potential. 

Hugs from Hayley xx


  1. YESS. It seems like a depressing conclusion, but you are completely right. What we do is, somewhat sadly, defined only by their impact. This was a really interesting read Hayley :D x



    1. Thank you so much Anne, this post has taken me a good month to properly word and I'm glad you liked it :)


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